communication – Mild and Free

DISCLAIMER: Some of these lessons are based on the examination of the behavioral psychology of myself and loved ones. Some of these lessons involve what I’ve learned about big corporations, our society and the media.

Sorry to bother you, but you could change your life by reading this post. I mean this could possibly help you see yourself, people, society, and America for what it is….or you can just think I’m a lunatic with conspiracy theories with no supporting evidence.

All I ask of you as you read this is to have an open mind so that you are now aware of these lessons. What you do with this information after you read it is up to you. Therefore, use this information wisely.

Lesson #1: You can only save yourself.

I’ve grown up with this belief that having a spouse and finding ‘true love’ will solve my problems. So, I’ve been waiting around yearning to get rescued by someone so they can tell me about myself, solve my problems, and essentially heal me. However, common sense hit me upside my head one day this year and taught me that I need to rescue my own damn self from my problems. I need to depend on myself to tell myself about myself. No one else can tell me about me. I’m the only one who should be doing that. In Mark Manson’s bestselling book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck”, he makes a good point that basically says people can’t solve your problems for you; you have to take responsibility for your own shit and figure it out your damn self (of course, I’m paraphrasing but it’s still truth).

Lesson #2: “My biggest enemy is my inner me.”

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Even though my first time hearing this saying was from a contestant on Netflix’s Rhythm & Flow show, it has validity and power to it. My brain, insecurities, and mind are my worst enemies. However, I have the control over them. I have the power to rewire my brain by changing my habits and self talk.

Lesson #3: Our brains are wired by television.

This is a bubble that is hard to pop because it means you won’t look at your favorite television show the same. So if you don’t want the happiness you get from a television show to be forever ruined, go ahead and skip to Lesson #4 once you finish this sentence. For those of you who stayed with me, don’t say I didn’t warn you. So think about your favorite American television show or just a television show that you really admire. “Friends”, “Cheers”, “The Boondocks”, “The Simpsons”, “Home Improvement”, “Grey’s Anatomy”, “Full House”, “Big Mouth”, “Star Trek”, “Seinfeld”…..these shows and so many more have a common theme amongst them all. Next time you watch an episode, imagine that the writers are playing a mind game with the actors/actresses. Imagine that the actors/actresses are going through mental hell with their dialogue. Imagine that the executives of the show are trying to send a message to the actors/actresses. Imagine the actors/actresses are trying to send a message to each other, the executives, and us the viewers through the dialogue and tone of voice. Pay attention to the hand movements, facial expressions, and characters they use for certain scenes. Because of this television programming, we haven’t realized that our brains are wired like these tv show scripts to say what we want to say without actually saying what we want to say. But I’ve said too much…

Lesson #4: Confidence is a Leadership Skill

If you’re not confident in yourself, then people won’t be confident in you. Many researchers will tell you that people gravitate towards leaders with confidence. I mean, think about it. Are you going to get on a plane where the pilot says, “I’m not that great of a pilot”? Do you want the surgeon to operate on you who is not confident in his/her skills? Are you going to follow the orders of a boss who doesn’t believe in their ability to succeed? The answer to all these questions: Fuck No! So if you want to be the leader that you know you can be, then start believing in yourself first so that people start believing in you.

Lesson #5: Keep Your Eye on These Corporations

Nowadays, power is in data. As a millennial, I’ve been freely giving away my data since I was in middle school. All these online media platforms innocently ask me for my name, birthdate, phone number and interests. Here I am, giving my information away for convenience and the feeling of connection. However, this information is going somewhere. Someone has all of this information. Who? I don’t know. But everything anyone needs to know about me is out there for a large corporation to take advantage of in order to sell my data to a business that wants to advertise to me. Not only that, but isn’t it weird that someone in this world has access to the most intimate parts of my life (i.e. control over my “smart home”, track of my purchasing habits, etc.)

Okay, this is the part where I probably sound paranoid as fuck and could possibly be on the corner yelling about “the man” and how he’s out to get us. I’m aware of this. However, you don’t have to believe me…I just want you to be aware. So here are a list of some companies that you should keep your eye on: Alphabet Inc. (owns alot but mainly Google), General Electric Company (GE), Uber, AT&T, CBS, NBC (maybe part of GE), Time Warner, Viacom, News Corp, Amazon, Netflix, Disney, Verizon Communications, Apple, JP Morgan, Facebook, and Twitter.

Lesson #6: America is the Most Sexually Fueled, yet Sexually Frustrated Society

America has a society where all advertisers know that “sex sells”. Yet, we refuse to have open dialogue and discuss sex in public. We’re prudish about sex but it’s in our faces on a daily. No wonder America is sexually frustrated. There’s this theory in America that white suburban women have desires of being with a black man for “a sense of danger”. There’s another theory that many men in heterosexual monogamous couples are secretly hiding their desire to be with another man sexually, which is why the face of a woman in a perfume ad is not needed. The idea of being with a woman while seeing the face of a beautiful man is the ultimate guy porn. Or maybe my lack of sexual freedom is causing me to believe such ridiculous theories. Either way, have more consensual sex…it leads to a happier life (and maybe a better America)!

These were some of the major lessons I’ve learned after being an observer of our world in 2019.

I would like to acknowledge the following people, events, and art that contributed to my realizations this year: Jon Stewart, Late Night Show with Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, Dave Chapelle, Jerry Seinfeld, NBC sitcoms, Shonda Rhimes, CBS sitcoms, FOX sitcoms, Fox News, Sorry to Bother You, Netflix writers, my Google Home, Donald J. Trump’s administration, Rachel Maddow, Pod Save America, the censorship of the Federal Communications Commission, Anderson Cooper, Amy Schumer, the laziness and stupidity of society, Brexit, Hindenburg, Germany, the UK, the Cold War, World War II, Ronald Reagan presidency, Richard Nixon’s presidency, behavioral psychology, body language, the manipulation of the English language, greed and corruption of corporations, and the 1st amendment.

Consistency is the major key advice people give you on any journey of growth and/or success.

Exhibit A:

So we all know this…I know this….and yet I continue to be the most inconsistent person in the world!

I’m inconsistent with all aspects of my life….my living situation, driving, relationship dynamics, communication, food intake, sleeping patterns, my writing, etc.

Driving for example. I will be going about a good 70 miles per hour on the highway, drifting off into the millions of thoughts that come to my head, and then I look down at the odometer and see that I’m going 60 instead with a line of cars passing me by.

Or communication. I will text you all buddy buddy for a week or so and then decide that it’s too much so I “ghost” you (as many of the Americanized youth would say). In my head, I’m thinking that I’m giving you something to miss and that brings my appreciation value up (and yes I calculate my appreciation value to others…I don’t think that’s healthy though).

Or in the blogging/writing field. I made a promise to myself that I would blog once a week because consistency leads to more exposure and credibility and trust and a whole lot of cool stuff that I aspire my words to create to an audience of critical thinkers.

And yet here I am with a blog that has been around for over 2 months, and I only have 2 articles published (make this 3 if I actually publish this shit).

I can think of probably hundreds of examples in my life where I’m inconsistent, but I think you get the point.

And what’s even more annoying is that I know that deep down the real reason why I’m inconsistent with just about everything I do is credited to my fear of commitment.

I mean if we want to be honest, I’m afraid of commitment. The whole idea creeps me out. Like the whole concept of commitment seems like bondage, like you are stuck with this thing that you are forcing yourself to do even though you have the power and free will to change it. It’s like some sick, twisted cruel joke that you are playing on yourself just to prove to yourself, or to whoever, that you have stability or discipline in your life. I don’t know….the whole idea of commitment and consistency just seems…..pathetic.

Or maybe that’s just me covering the fact that I need help coming to terms with the fact that pure loyalty to something or someone does actually exist…or maybe really I just don’t believe loyalty to me exists.

Let’s look at one of the biggest exercises of consistency: a romantic relationship. My outlook on commitment is similar to Chandler Bing’s from “Friends” Seasons 1-4. If you are unfamiliar with the classic American sitcom, Chandler Bing is a person who was so afraid of commitment that there are scenes of him literally gasping for air whenever he felt that a commitment in a relationship would start to brew.

I understand that exact feeling. I’ve only been in two committed relationships, one was for 6 months and the other was for 2 years. The reason for both relationship’s end was me “gasping for air” in a sense. I felt too tied down….too “committed” so to say.

What causes this fear of commitment you ask? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyiiiiiiiiittttttt if I know.

To be honest, I don’t think I want to know yet.

I just want to be successful in life without consistency. They say anything is possible so maybe this is possible, too?? (I don’t think it’s possible either, but just go with the flow with me so I can address this deep seated issue without deeply diving into it at the moment.)

Tag: communication

Consistency is Key…but I lost it